The journey begins

I think that I might have gone too far this time.

At 12:45 I was up to my elbows in coolant as I tried to change a split hose on the landrover before my intended 13:00 departure. I can’t believe that mechanics don’t work on sundays!

It was the latest in series of car related incidents which meant that my love-hate relationship had slipped back into the hate mode.

Yesterday it was a new washer pump, on Friday a new carburettor to allow it to switch from LPG to petrol, and in the previous weeks more parts and titivating than you can shake a stick at.

But after six and a half hours driving I am now sat in queue 13 on Portsmouth docks awaiting loading of the 22:00 to Bilbao.

The old girl has made it in one piece. The ‘boys own’ adventure of one man and his quarter century old landrover is off the start line. Now I have a 36 hour crossing to look forward to and then it is another six hour drive to the house.

I’m definitely going to miss Amanda, and our two reprobate cats, but the barn conversion is a big part of our future lives and one of us needs to be there to ensure that the works are ‘just right’.

Guess it’s me and the landy with the short straw. Galicia here we come!

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Anti-christ testicles anyone?

There are many things that I love about Spain. I love the food, I love the wine, I love the quirkiness, I love the sunshine, and I love the way that Spaniards embrace the truly bizarre.

After years of repression under General Franco, his death in 1975 caused an outpouring of creativity and self-expression. One element of this revolution was the sweeping away of sexual repression and prudishness (which on occasions can be considered as a bad thing), but more often enables you to chuckle at advertising which would be considered inappropriate in many other cultures.

A prime example of this are two posters which we stumbled across while visiting Santilla del Mar, both of which were advertising sweets available from inside their respective establishments.

Exhibit 1 – ‘Balls of the Anti-christ’

Cojones del Anticristo

The ‘balls of the anti-christ’ is an insult from the eighth century which was levied at Archbishop Elipando of Toledo by the Beatus of Liebana (Cantabria) for his thesis that Jesus Christ was the adopted son of God rather than the natural son of God. Why this manifests itself as sweets is anyone’s guess.

Exhibit 2 – ‘Orgasmos’

Orgasm in sweet form

A second shop was selling ‘orgasm’ sweets made from ‘Crema de Orujo’, a weird Galician liqueur made from herbs, mixed with fruits of the forest. I think that the trade description act could have something to say about the claim that ‘only an orgasm is comparable to the satisfaction of eating these sweets….’.

Needless to say, we declined both of these tempting offers!

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Convincing some unbelievers

Preparations are continuing apace ahead of my two month trip to Galicia, to work on the big house and to keep an eye on the builders finally starting the renovation of the barn. Ferry tickets are now booked, the Land Rover is in the garage having all its ‘oily bits’ serviced, and my accommodation is all sorted thanks to my good friend Ramon of Spanish Country Cottages.

But I now have a bit of a dilemma.

Towards the end of November Amanda is travelling to Galicia for a very brief visit and bringing my brother (Ian) and sister-in-law (Karen) for their first ever visit. They are flying in to Santiago de Compostela on a Friday lunchtime and back from Asturias airport on the Sunday afternoon. Their sole visual exposure to ‘our little Spanish paradise’ has been the Rick Stein cookery programme, which left them a little ‘underwhelmed’, and a little fearful that they may go hungry.

Amanda and I now have a smidgen over forty-eight hours to show them why we have chosen this part of the world as our future home. We need to show them the depth of the culture, the beauty of the countryside, the friendliness of the people, and that eating in Galicia doesn’t necessarily involve being presented with a stewed pigs face on a plate.

We’ve spent days planning the itinerary to ensure that the maximum is achievable, in the minimum time. From the airport we’ll travel into Santiago and have booked a night in the superb San Francisco Monumental hotel, a stones throw from the Cathedral, and easy walking distance from the many great restaurants where we’ll ‘woo’ them with superb fresh seafood and chilled Albariño.

Friday night in Santiago de Compostela

The Saturday morning will see a drive through the beautiful countryside to Lugo and a walk around the Roman walls before a bite of lunch and the hour drive to the house. After a good inspection of the house works so far, and discussions of the task ahead, it will be to Taramundi to check-in at Casa Paulino. If we still have any light, perhaps a little drive around before settling down for a meal (probably involving cabrales, scorpion fish and fabes) at Consuelas’ hotel.

View from Casa Paulino

Sunday will be a trip up to the coast and As Catedrais before the picturesque motorway journey through Asturias to the Airport, stopping somewhere for a bite of lunch on the way.

As Catedrais

I hope that will do the trick. All we’ll need is the sun to shine, and the rain to stay away. But perhaps that is just too much to ask of Galicia in November.

Any other, or better ideas to convert sceptics into evangelists would be most appreciated.

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A new addition to the household

Although the Galician dream is only a few years old, it has now allowed me to fulfil a dream which I have held since I was a spotty teenager. As a child and young teenager there were always three cars that I wanted to own. These weren’t cars that my Dad ever owned, they weren’t cars that I’d ever been inside, but they were my ‘poster cars’ that adorned my bedroom wall and filled the pre-pubescent dreams of a driver wannabee.

Car One – a Ford Transit. Multi-purpose, big roof for CB aerials, plenty of space for stereo equipment and room for a party in the back. Then I drove loads of them, up and down the country, on a regular basis for work, and the novelty soon wore off.

Car Two – a BMW. I didn’t care about the model, or the engine size, or the colour. I just had an irrational desire to have that blue & white roundel on the steering wheel in front of me. I am currently on my 12th, in ninteen years, and have never been disappointed. They really are the ultimate driving machine, nothing compares.

Car Three – A Landrover Defender. The ultimate utalitarian vehicle, beloved of the working class and royalty alike. The ‘go anywhere’, ‘do anything’ utility vehicle. A proper 4×4, and the best by far. And I think you know what is coming next…. On saturday, the long suffering, Amanda accompanied me to north Nottinghamshire to collect my new chariot, bought especially for my impending trip to Galicia. I’d bid for, and won, the blue 1986 Landrover Defender 90 pick-up on e-bay on the strength of five photographs, and three e-mails with the seller. I never expected to win the auction.

I’d put in a speculative low bid and almost forgotten about it, but at 5pm on the 19th September (my birthday) I got an e-mail from e-bay and I’d treated myself to a ‘landy’, the car of my dreams, almost twenty-five years to the day after I passed my driving test. She’s also twenty-five years old but has covered just 90,000 miles, and I have all the past MoT’s to prove it. She worked on a farm for the first twenty years of her life, at the beck-and-call of a pig farmer, (don’t tell Carlos or he may get ideas) and only did 3k per annum. The three owners since then have put a few more miles on, but really she’s still only just run in.

The new addition

She does have a few foibles, but so would you after twenty-five years hard labour.

The choke has to be kept open with a clothes peg, the bonnet released with  pair of pliers, the hazard warning lights switch is jammed in the off position, and you have to wind the window down to open the doors. She does 18mpg but mercifully is converted to run on LPG, although the down side is that there are only a small number of LPG stations in Galicia.

I am also not the best shape for driving a vehicle that appears to have been designed for very slim giants with short arms. The steering wheel will eventually polish a line in my jumper where it rubs on my ample girth, and I can only really drive it comfortably with the drivers window wound down, to save me bashing my elbows every time I round a corner.

But I love it. My childhood illusions remain intact, all I am wondering now is ‘why did it take me such a bloody long time to buy one!’. We’re going to have a great time together in Spain!

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An IQ test for travellers

I’ve been spending a lot of time in airports recently, and I fear that it is starting to drive me mad.

In these times of global economic meltdown we’ve been forced to seek work overseas. It has fallen to me to work on occasional contracts in Belfast and Dublin ,which require early morning flights from Manchester or Liverpool.

Possibly because it is summer, with the great unwashed heading for their fortnight all-inclusive break in Benidorm (£199.00 at all good bucket travel agencies), possibly because I have a day of hard work stretching out ahead of me, and possibly because I am not flying to Galicia…I seem to find myself increasingly intollerent of my fellow man.

Hell on earth

What is it about airports which renders a large percentage of the British public deaf, dumb, and blind?

Over the past few months I’ve developed many pet airport hates, none of which are theraputic for my hypertension. I have several questions will serve to indicate my key gripes;

    • Why do large families in transit have to occupy the entire width of a corridor and then walk at a snails pace?
    • Is the concept of putting your ‘liquids’ in a see-through bag really that complicated?
    • On what planet are you to think that a ‘metal detector’ allows you to pass through security without removing your watch, belt, or steel toe-capped boots?
    • Why start to queue at a departure gate half an hour before the boarding announcement? Do people ‘like’ queueing?
    • How many times do you have to sit in the emergency exit row before you realise that you can’t put your bag under the seat in front of you?
    • Which bit of ‘tear off the bottom of your printed boarding card’ and ‘have your passports open at the photograph page’ suggests that people to leave their documents in their pocket, or at the bottom of their handbag?
    • Is it forbidden to use a tissue or handkerchief when sneezing on an airplane, or is it obligatory to spend the whole journey sniffing?
    • Would it kill people to leave their mobile phones switched off until the aircraft doors are opened?
    • Why do people need such humongous suitcases, which are invariably pink? Are they emigrating?

These things serve to cost me hours of my life which I am never going to get back.

In the interests of the sanity of those of us who ‘get’ airplane travel, I think that there needs to be an IQ test before people are allowed to book flights, or step foot on the grounds of an airport.

The next time you are in an airport and you see someone with steam coming out of their ears, red-faced, and tapping the floor with their foot, while issuing expletives under their breath, it’s probably me about to board a business flight! I am beginning to understand why people develop flying phobias, it’s not the planes, it’s the time you have to lose due to others incompetence while in the airports.

All this said, I rarely feel the stress and strains of air travel when heading to and from Galicia. On those occasions I am chilled, looking forward to the journey and anticipating our arrival. The incompetence of others can be eradicated with a shrug of the shoulders and a shake of the head. Perhaps it’s the calming influence of Galicia. 

And I’m flying again on Thursday, to Dublin – what joy!

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